What Is Wino Doing Outside?!
Who let the crackhead out of the bag?! Wino is supposed to be grounded! She is in so much fucking trouble. Daddy Wino is totally going to add on an extra week to her crackpipe restriction. She'll have to smoke her crack out of light bulbs.
Anyway, the Crackie of Camden was back to terrorizing the streets of London this morning. She stopped by a kosher food store to pick up some snacks and accidentally smudged the glass counter. She tried to clean it by rubbing her bony ass on it. Great, now they have to send that counter to the nearest toxic waste dump. It's ruined.
I totally miss Wino's filthy ass ballet slippers. The nurse shoes just aren't doing the trick. Although, the fact that she's kept them so clean looking this long is fucking mind-boggling.
Own A Piece Of Pure Elegance
The Empress of Lucite has offered us peons a chance to own a piece from her collection of elegant treasures. Shauna Sand is auctioning off an exquisite robe bought from Linens N' Things on the exclusive and private website, eBay. The auction reads:
Playboy Playmate & TV & Film Star Shauna Sand's Size L Pink Frottier Cawo Robe worn during her Playboy Playmate shoot and an amazing one-of-a-kind photo of Shauna modeling the robe just for you autographed by Shauna herself and Certificate of Authenticity! Direct from Shauna's Bedroom to Your Doorstep!An amazing bonus brought to you by Shauna herself! Shauna is also going to send you a one-of-a-kind photo of her modeling therobe just for you! Shauna has autographed the photo (in real ink!) especially for the winner! This photo can be found nowhere else on the planet!
What a collector's item!
I'm pretty sure Size L stands for Size LUXURY. And what the hell does "real ink" mean? Shauna probably means liquid gold, because that's the only thing she uses to sign things.
This isn't the first time Shauna has put her elegant goods up for sale. A couple of months ago, she tried to sell rocks on eBay! Speaker rocks! I envy the lucky bitch who owns those things.
If Shauna's royal robe isn't under my Christmas bonsai tree this year, I'm going to be livid. You whores better start putting your dimes together, because this auction is going to reach at least $1 million. Luxury like this doesn't come cheap!
Click here to bid! BID!!!!
Thanks Brucie
pop nosh: nicole richie - pregnant again?!?
 | |
|
† there's new rumors about nicole richie wanting to have another baby soon! cele|bitchy † cutie jake gyllenhaal is training with horses for his next flick 'prince of persia' popsugar † which ladies made the 'top ten best boobs in hollywood' list? celebslam † cameron diaz's new boyfriend model paul sculfor might be living with her! a socialite's life † PETA is offering fur wearing sharon stone a free brain scan! i'm not obsessed † brad pitt has been asking julia roberts for tips on twins parenting in case you didn't † i think katie holmes needs to take daughter suri to the hair salon... celebrity baby scoop † is paula abdul's bug eyed ex-boyfriend going to be the next 'bachelor'? dlisted † i'm totally warming up to the idea of lindsay & samantha as a couple! gabby babble † amy winehouse admitted to taking drugs - even while in rehab! celebwarship | |
| what the buck? w/ michael buckley | 4 minutes behind the scenes |
|
† does blythe danner think chris martin is miserable rat-faced man?!? agent bedhead † christina ricci is looking stunning in the new issue of 'hollywood life' yeeeah! † ashley tisdale was trying to rock an 'ed hardy' bikini (site NSFW) drunken stepfather † the horniest shorts in the world belong to... i don't want your life † megan fox is unengaged, soon to be single... egotastic † would you want to see a musical about david & victoria beckham?!? seriously? omg! wtf? † did madonna put alex rodriguez under a kaballah spell? kenneth in the 212 † how long has josh brolin been preparing to play george w. bush? film experience † oh no - christina applegate's boyfriend lee grivas was found dead :( bitten & bound † the #1 rule of fireworks safety: don't put them in your ass! cityrag | |
Sonya Thomas Did Not Win
WTF?! Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest was today and Sonya "The Black Widow" Thomas did not win! Okay, she wasn't really expected to win, but she's the only reason why I watch this gross dry vomit fiesta. Sonya placed fourth or fifth or some shit. Oh well, she'll get them next year.
The 10-minute competition ended with Joey Chestnut and Kobayashi tying with 59 dogs each! The contest went into overtime and Chestnut and Kobayashi were given 5 dogs each. Whoever swallowed all 5 first, won. Chestnut won that bitch. It was rumored that Kobayashi was going to retire, but he denied it and said he'll be back next year.
I should enter that shit next year. I can probably swallow 10 weiners a minute....AT LEAST. Below is the clip of Chestnut and Kobayashi battling it out until the end. That shit is nasty.
Classic PP
It's been almost two weeks since my last post about international supermodel and "Hot Babe of the Year' Phoebe Price. I've been going through major withdrawals and I might have been caught "canoodling" with a raw chicken cutlet or two.
Seriously, where has PP been?! Maybe she was having her chicken cutlets rotated. No! Thanks to her pivotal role in "Get Smart," PP is a hot commodity in Hollywood! She was probably shooting some major feature film or posing for the cover of Elle Greenland.
I can breathe a sigh of relief now that I know Chicken Cutlets is alive and well. Here's PP at her day job as a valet outside of a TGIF Friday's. I kid, I kid. She's waiting for her cutlet mobile and showing off her exclusive photo spread in Star Magazine.
A-Rod Is Under Vadge’s Kabbalah Spell
Vadge is hypnotizing A-Rod with some sort of kabbalalalalah voodoo spell. That's what A-Rod's buff ass wifey claims anyway. According to the NYDN, Cynthia Rodriguez has told her friends that Vadge is the reason why her marriage is in the shit box. Cynthia is currently shacking up at Lenny Kravitz's pad in Paris, because she doesn't want to deal with all the homo drama.
A friend of C-Hulk claims she found a letter from A-Rod to Vadge where he calls her "his true soulmate." Yeah, because both can probably bench press a Mormon family. C-Hulk reportedly told her friend, "I feel like Madonna is using mind control over him. I don't recognize the man he's become. He was a sweet, beautiful, loving husband and father. Today he's very cold and calculating." The Vadge strikes again! She definitely held A-Rod in her "vadge-choke-hold" and forced him to hand over his nuts to her. She did the same thing to Guy.
C-Hulk had a baby only 10 weeks ago. Her friend said that A-Rod was only with the baby for 10-minutes after she was born and then split for Vadge's tomb. 3 weeks later, he told his wifey that he was leaving her. Why didn't C-Hulk pick up a car and smash it on his head?! She's capable of it.
The friend went on to say, "Cynthia was so innocent. She thought he just respected [Madonna]...and said, 'I respected her too - her creativity and ability to reinvent herself. I never dreamed this 49-year-old woman was anything more than a friend."??
There's only way to solve all of this. You know what I'm going to suggest, right? CAGE FIGHT! Imagine a Vadge and She-Hulk cage fight? That would be like Godzilla vs. King Kong! On second thought, Vadge and She-Hulk should team up and pummel the shit out of A-Rod.
Our founding fathers can beat up your founding fathers
Benjami Franklin was such a pimp
Happy fourth! Cutting things a little short today to go get drunk and pick a fight with an Englishman. Stay safe. Pace yourself. And remember, I don’t care how good she starts to look after that tenth beer, your cousin is still your cousin.
Top 10 Best Boobs in Hollywood
Courtesy of In Touch Weekly (Click the pic for the larger version)
10. Beyoncé Knowles
“I’m happy with curves. I’m a real woman,” says Beyoncé, who somehow remains humble about the allure of her ample bosom, though it has been honored in various slo-mo videos that fans have posted online. In fact, the 26-year-old doesn’t see what all the fuss is about. “I have insecurities,” she admits. “Every day I look in the mirror and find something wrong. My legs could be more muscular, my waist just a little smaller and my boobs could be a little bigger. But I’d never have surgery.” “I don’t have a problem wearing sexy clothes,” she says.
9. Megan Fox
When photos popped up on the Internet of Megan Fox emerging from the water practically topless — save for some see-through pasties — on the set of Jennifer’s Body, they caused a sensation. The Angelina Jolie look-alike, 22, may be a buxom stunner, but she still claims to be shy, saying she thinks of herself as “very masculine. I don’t feel sexy like that, especially not when you’re getting ready to film and there’s a crew of 1,000 men just waiting for you to lean over the hood of a car.” Megan admits that she once took the stage at a strip club. “I didn’t do nudity, but I made hundreds for just one song.”
8. Jennifer Aniston
John Mayer could definitely dedicate his hit song “Your Body is a Wonderland” to his new girlfriend, Jennifer Aniston. While the star of the upcoming film He’s Just Not That Into You isn’t at all shy about baring her body in teeny-tiny bikinis, she does get a bit miffed at allegations that she’s had plastic surgery. “It’s still mine. All of it. Short of letting everybody have a feel, I don’t know what else to do,” says the 39-year-old, adding, “I really am pretty happy with what God gave me. Greek women are always round with big boobs.”
7. Audrina Patridge
Long before Audrina Patridge found fame as one of Lauren Conrad’s best friends on The Hills, she was an aspiring model. She even posed for provocative topless pictures right after she graduated high school. “I intended for them to be artistic,” says the 23-year-old. She’s quick to add she’s “not ashamed” of the shots, and she has no reason to be since they proved she has perfect breasts. So, are there more sexy shoots in her future? “Audrina is a beautiful girl,” Playboy rep Lauren Melone tells In Touch, “and if she really is interested in posing for Playboy, our editors would love to talk to her directly.” “Leave my boobs alone,” Audrina once shot back at someone who’d asked if she had plastic surgery.
6. Katherine Heigl
Katherine Heigl isn’t one of the women in Hollywood who had to get implants to get attention. “It’s disconcerting that there are so many women with fake breasts now that that’s the standard. Real boobs don’t look like that,” says the naturally blessed 29-year-old. “When I was 13, I was flat as a board. I actually prayed for big boobs. I developed at about 14, and they kept going. Obviously, prayer works!” Still, Katherine knows that male fans tend to not be so picky. “Most guys think whether they’re real or fake doesn’t really matter, as long as they’re big,” she says. “A good bra with some underwire definitely helps a lot,” says Katherine.
CLICK HERE to jump to the TOP 5 on PAGE 2
Quickies Redux
Conan O’Brien leaving Mr. Chow in Beverly Hills (7/3)
+ Denise Richard embraces the tight spandex [Drunken Stepfather]
+ Mandy Moore Needs to Lose the Sweater [Egotastic!]
+ I would love to punch this chick in the face [Just Jared]
+ Kim Kardashian has mesmerizing cleavage [Popoholic]
+ Dita Von Teese looking hot in Maxim (Germany) [F-Listed]
+ Christina Applegate’s boyfriend found dead [The Blemish]
+ Musicians and models swimsuit gallery [Attuworld]
+ Christie Brinkley’s husband’s mistress also banged Diddy [Cele|bitchy]
+ Krystal Forscutt is a goddess [Horny Oyster]
+ David Beckham thought his wife was banging another dude [ICYDK]
[WENN]
Mel was just trying to get his son laid
Britney Spears arriving at her lawyer’s office in L.A. (7/2)
We now have our answer as to why Mel Gibson was so eager to help Britney Spears get her life back in order: he was just trying to get his son laid. From the National Enquirer:
Mel thought his son — who has turned his life around since he was admitted to the Cri-Help rehab facility in Hollywood last year — could help the troubled Toxic singer do the same.
A source tells the publication, “Mel felt Ed would be a great influence on Brit, and if the relationship turned into romance, all the better.”
Mel then arranged a meeting between the pair at Britney’s Hollywood Hills home last March, says the source.
“He sincerely believed that his son could help Britney stay on the straight and narrow and that they might hit it off as a couple as well,” the source adds.
But Spears refused to see Ed, and hid from him and Mel as soon as they arrived at her house.
The source continues, “She hid from them for most of the night. Mel and his son spent most of their evening talking to her bodyguards!” (Source)
Ouch. It doesn’t exactly take charm and good looks nowadays to seduce Britney Spears. Tough break for Mel’s son. He must have been out of peanut butter. Mel told him to bring peanut butter!
[ONTD]
